I just woke up, not too long ago. I had the most wonderful dream, that I ever could dream. I wish I could dream it all night long, over and over and over. Blaine passed away 5 years ago. I met him 6 years ago yesterday (May 18,2007). He passed away 8 short months later, on January 18, 2008 right by my side, in his sleep. It was the coldest day ever outside. My heart was colder that day. :(
But anyway, the dream was he was with me, and in the dream, I didn't know that he has passed away. It never crossed my mind. We were talking, and I knew he had to leave. I didn't know where he was going, but he was leaving. He sits next to me, with this most loving look on his face and kisses me. I wrapped my arms around him so tight. I didnt want to let go. You can tell he didn't either. I remember looking over and seeing a pizza, just cooked with no cheese. I dont know what the hell that symbolized! lol. I then woke up. I woke up with a smile on my face. I can still feel his lips on mine. I miss that so much.
We met online, but we didn't actually meet in person until October of 2007. That was the first time he kissed me. We couldn't stop kissing each other that night. The one thing that goes through my mind, over and over through the years is what he said to me. He looked at me the same way he did in my dream this morning. That day years and years ago he said, "I could fall in love with you so easily." What he didn't know, is I fell in love with him, the moment I laid eyes on him, that crisp October day. I will love that man with ever fiber of my being, till the day I die.
I am glad I got to say goodbye to him this morning, after all these years. But, I would do anything to have him by my side again. Just holding each other. I have felt at the most peace in my life right now, that I have in years. I am sad, but happy at the same time, and at peace.
I love you Blaine. I miss you with all my heart. Please come visit me in my dreams more often, you dork! :)
